We all strive to be a better mom, the best mom ever! But being a mom is tough, and I know you’re tougher. It’s not about perfection—we all know that’s a myth. It’s about being present, supportive, and most importantly, kind to yourself. If you’re reading this, you’re already an amazing mom for wanting to grow. So let’s dive into seven actionable, guilt-free strategies to help you be the best mom you can be—without running yourself into the ground.
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1. Prioritize Quality Time Over Quantity
It’s easy to feel guilty about not spending every waking moment with your kids, but here’s a secret: It’s not about how much time you spend; it’s about how you spend it, and that is what makes you a better mom. Schedule 15-20 minutes of undivided attention with your child each day. Whether it’s building Lego towers, baking cookies, or having a heart-to-heart before bed, those moments matter more than hours of distracted togetherness.
Example: After dinner, I set a timer for 15 minutes of “Mom and Me Time” with my 5-year-old. We usually end up drawing or reading his favorite storybook. For my 2.5-year-old, it’s building block towers and knocking them down together—his favorite game right now. On weekends, I sometimes surprise them with an activity like a mini scavenger hunt around the house. These small, joyful moments create lasting memories.
Extra Tip: Rotate activities based on their interests. If your 5-year-old loves crafts, stock up on supplies for quick projects. For your 2.5-year-old, sensory bins filled with rice or pasta can keep them entertained while you join in or supervise.
2. Let Go of the Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is the uninvited guest that never leaves. Whether it’s missing a school event or serving frozen pizza for dinner, remind yourself: You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. And that is what makes you a better mom. Practice reframing negative thoughts. Instead of saying, “I’m failing at this,” try, “I’m learning and growing.”
Example: One night, I couldn’t help my 5-year-old with his puzzle because my 2.5-year-old was having a meltdown. Instead of spiraling into guilt, I apologized and explained that I’d help him later. We tackled the puzzle together the next morning, and he didn’t mind the wait.
Another time, I skipped storytime because I was utterly exhausted. I explained to my kids that moms need rest too, and we promised to make up for it the next day. Teaching them that it’s okay to prioritize self-care is a life lesson in itself.
Extra Tip: Write down one thing you did well as a mom each day. This practice shifts your focus to the positives, helping you let go of unnecessary guilt.
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3. Embrace Self-Care Without Guilt
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential to be a better mom. Start small: Take a 10-minute walk, enjoy a hot cup of coffee, or read a chapter of a book. Prioritize activities that recharge you.
Example: I started waking up 15 minutes earlier to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and do some light stretching. It’s my sacred time before my 2.5-year-old and 5-year-old wake up with their boundless energy. Sometimes I use that time to jot down thoughts in a gratitude journal—it sets a positive tone for the day.
Extra Tip: Involve your kids in your self-care occasionally. Yoga or stretching can turn into a fun family activity, and they’ll learn the importance of wellness by watching you.
4. Delegate and Ask for Help
Supermom doesn’t exist. Don’t hesitate to lean on your partner, family, or friends, it takes a village and we want to help each other be better moms. Share responsibilities and teach your kids to pitch in. Delegating chores doesn’t mean you’re failing; it shows you’re a team player.
Example: I created a chore chart where my 5-year-old helps set the table, and my 2.5-year-old puts away his toys (with a little guidance). It’s a win-win—they learn responsibility, and I get a breather. On particularly busy days, I’ll ask my partner to take over bedtime routines or meal prep so I can recharge.
Extra Tip: Turn chores into games. My 5-year-old loves a “race” to see who can tidy up faster, while my 2.5-year-old enjoys sorting toys by color or shape.
5. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
Boundaries are your best friend. Say no to commitments that drain you, it doesn’t make you a better mom. It’s okay to decline that PTA event or skip hosting another family dinner. Protecting your energy ensures you have more to give where it counts.
Example: I stopped overloading our weekends with activities. Now, we plan one outing, like a trip to the park, and spend the rest of the day at home relaxing. My 2.5-year-old enjoys his nap, and my 5-year-old loves movie afternoons with popcorn.
When the extended family wanted us to visit every weekend, I gently explained that we needed more downtime as a family. Now, we alternate visits and have more energy for quality interactions.
Extra Tip: Create a weekly schedule that includes “no-plans” days. Use that time to recharge or enjoy spontaneous family fun.
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6. Focus on Connection Over Correction
Instead of constantly correcting behavior, focus on understanding the “why” behind it. Build trust by listening and validating your child’s feelings. Connection fosters cooperation, and honestly picking your battles and when to correct gives energy and makes you that much more present and a better mom.
Example: When my 2.5-year-old threw a tantrum because he didn’t want to wear shoes, I got down to his level and asked, “What’s wrong?” He pointed to his socks, which were bothering him. After switching socks, he happily put on his shoes. My 5-year-old, on the other hand, often needs a reminder that it’s okay to feel frustrated, and we work through his emotions together.
Extra Tip: Use phrases like “I see you’re upset” or “Can you tell me more about how you feel?” These simple questions open the door to better communication and understanding.
7. Celebrate the Small Wins
Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Celebrate the little victories—whether it’s a peaceful bedtime, a new skill your child learned, or simply surviving a tough day.
Example: One evening, both my 2.5-year-old and 5-year-old cleaned up their toys before bedtime without being asked. I made a big deal of it, cheering and clapping. They were so proud of themselves, and it set a positive tone for the rest of the night. Another small win? My 5-year-old successfully tied his shoes for the first time, and we celebrated with an impromptu dance party in the living room.
Extra Tip: Keep a “win jar” where you jot down daily victories on small notes. Read them together at the end of the week to relive those joyful moments.
Remember, being a better mom doesn’t mean being a perfect mom. It’s about showing up, trying your best, and forgiving yourself when things don’t go as planned. You’ve got this, and your kids are lucky to have you.
Which of these tips will you try first to be a better mom (a mom that shows up)? Let me know in the comments—we’re in this together!